


There's A New Gene In Town (And His Name Is Castiel) - Fic

by Dracothelizard



Series: My amazing reverse bad bang [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean fight crime, Comedy, Crack, Deliberate Badfic, Deliberately Bad Fanfic, Everything should be crossed over with Supernatural!, Fangirl Japanese, Humour, Ignoring the request makes it better, M/M, Pixie sticks, Randomness, This fic is so funny, Well they fight space vampires first, crossovers, pocky, space vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:52:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2332577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracothelizard/pseuds/Dracothelizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel comes to Atlantis and fights the space vampires!</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's A New Gene In Town (And His Name Is Castiel) - Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [There's a New Gene in Town](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2311904) by Anonymous. 



> So when I claimed this piece of art I thought it said it was a crossover with CASTIEL instead of Castle and then I got the artwork and it was some old fugly dude with Stargate Atlantis, which I have never seen either. But I really wanted to write Castiel having space adventures because wow, that would be SO AWESOME YOU GUYS, SUPERNATURAL IN SPACE! So I decided to ignore the request and just write a crossover with Supernatural, because obviously that is waaaaaay better, amirite?
> 
> R&R! BUT NO FLAMES PLZ, FLAMES WILL BE USED TO ROAST MARSHMALLOWS ON OM NOM NOM ^_^

When Castiel arrived in Atlantis, everyone was there! The military guy was there, and the blond woman from Stargate SG-1 was there, and the cranky scientist who was banging the military guy was there, and Khal Drogo was there, and the pretty warrior lady who was awesome and thought everyone was idiots was there.

“Whoa,” said the military dude. “Castiel is so amazing, he didn’t even need to use the Stargate!”

“Of course not,” Castiel replied. He was looking really hawt in his trenchcoat and white shirt and trousers and clear blue eyes. “I am an Angel of the Lord, I can transport everywhere I need to. I don’t need your technology. I stopped by the Taco Bell on my way over to get everyone some tacos.” And then he gave everyone tacos (A/N LOLOLOL I AM SO RANDOM!!! HAHAHA ^_^)

“Castiel is the best!” Khal Drogo said as he ate his taco. “Military dude, you never get us tacos.”

“Yeah well, it’s hard to find Taco Bells IN SPACE, baka!” the military dude argued. “Thank you for the tacos, Castiel, you are the awesomest. Gomen nasai.”

“I think we should start a Taco Bell IN SPACE,” the cranky scientist said. He winked at his military dude boyfriend. “We’ve spent so long fighting those weird space vampire things, I think we should go to a planet and start a Taco Bell IN SPACE and then everyone will buy our amazing tacos!”

“Wow, boyfriend, that is the best idea you’ve ever had,” the military dude replied. “Okay team, let’s go to the nearest hospitable planet and start a Taco Bell IN SPACE!”

“You’re all idiots,” the pretty warrior lady said, but she really loved Castiel’s taco (A/N OMG THAT SOUNDS RUDE DOESN’T IT? LOLOLOL ^_^;) so she joined military dude and the cranky scientist and Khal Drogo and went to a planet to set up a Taco Bell IN SPACE. People came from all over the galaxy to get their delicious tacos and they all became superrich.

So Castiel was all alone in Atlantis (A/N In the picture there were some more people from Atlantis but I don’t know who they are so just pretend they all went to the Taco Bell IN SPACE mmmkay?) and he thought it was a really nice city. “Wait a minute,” he said to himself, “did they mention SPACE VAMPIRES?” (A/N No seriously Atlantis has space vampires? I spent like five seconds on google and they totally stole the idea of vampires from Supernatural! JUST BECAUSE YOU PUT IT IN SPACE DOESN’T MEAN IT ISN’T TOTALLY STOLEN! >_ 

But the Atlantis team was already gone so Castiel didn’t know how to fight the evil space vampires! “Ugh I should never have bought them those tacos,” Castiel muttered. “Well, maybe those space vampires won’t even attack. It’ll be fine.”

And then the space vampires attacked! (A/N See what I did there? You thought they weren’t going to attack because Castiel didn’t expect it, but then they DID attack! It’s totally dramatic.) There were loads of them all in space vampire ships! They were coming to the city to suck Castiel dry! (A/N LOLOL that sounds rude doesn’t it? Don’t worry, no one’s gonna suck Castiel dry except for DEAN! HEHEHE ^_^;

“Oh no.” Castiel saw the space vampires’ spaceships on the radar. “I’m all alone in Atlantis, how do I save myself from the space vampires? I am awesome, but I can only smite so many space vampires at once.”

And then the space vampires landed in the city. They were all pale with long white hair and dressed entirely in black leather. But one of them was the leader. He was the biggest and looked really scary, but he was also wearing his pink bunny slippers! (A/N I have pink bunny slippers and they were the BEST but they would look soooo funny on a space vampire, right? LOLOLOL ^_^)

“Hi, I am Steve the leader of the space vampires,” Steve said. (A/N I named him Steve because that is such a normal name for a space vampire to have hahahaha I am so random ROFLZOMG! *_*) “You should surrender, Castiel!”

“Never!” Castiel cried out bravely. “I won’t let you win.”

“Fool, you are outnumbered! We will kill you and eat you and then maybe go to that planet for some Taco Bell IN SPACE!” Steve said.

There were so many space vampires all there in Atlantis and they grabbed Castiel and were about to eat him, but then a car crashed through the Stargate!

It was the Impala!

And Dean was driving it!

And he was playing [this really awesome rocksong](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM) as he drove into Atlantis and he mowed down some of the space vampires!

Steve the space vampire was really impressed by Dean’s courage and how hawt he looked and how pretty his eyes were and his hair. “Wow, that guy is really hawt,” he said to himself.

Dean did a donut around everyone (A/N That means he drove around them in circles, not that he gave them a donut LOLOLOL ^_^) until there was smoke everywhere. Then he grabbed Castiel and pulled him into the car.

“Oh Dean, I am so glad you’re here.”

“Don’t worry, I would never let anyone hurt you.” And then Dean and Castiel made out and it was really hawt (A/N OMG I TOTALLY SHIP DESTIEL THEY BELONG TOGETHER DAMN YOU KRIPKE!!!! >_ 

“But Dean,” Castiel said once they were done making out. “What about the space vampires?”

“Yeah, we still want to eat humans,” Steve told them, frowning. “We’re hungry!”

“It’s okay, I have something for you.” Dean grabbed a bag filled with boxes of Pocky and pixie sticks and threw them at the space vampires. (A/N OMG I LOVE POCKY! AND PIXIE STICKS ARE THE BEST! *_*)

Steve sniffed the pixie sticks and had one. “Oh wow, pixie sticks are awesome! We’re going to stop eating humans and start eating pixie sticks and Pocky! Thanks, Dean! Thanks, Castiel.”

“No problem,” Dean said, giving Steve a thumbs up.

“Hey, why don’t you go to the planet where the Taco Bell IN SPACE is and set up a store next door to sell pixie sticks and Pocky?” Castiel suggested.

“That’s a great idea!” Steve replied, eating some Pocky. “Come on, space vampires, let’s do that!”

So all the space vampires went to the planet where the military dude and the cranky scientist and Khal Drogo and the pretty warrior lady had set up their Taco Bell IN SPACE and started a store next door. They all got along and everyone was happy.

“So Dean, we’ve defeated the space vampires, what do we do now?” Castiel asked.

“Well, I heard there were some space werewolves and some space demons around, I think we should defeat those!” Dean said, revving up his engine.

“Yeah!” Castiel said. “Let’s go defeat some space demons!”

(A/N I’ll write them defeating space demons in the next chapter! It’s gonna be so awesome! ^_^)

 


End file.
